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Are               you               in               a               serious               interracial               relationship               and               wonder               if               marrying               that               person               will               ever               work               because               of               differences               in               race?

Are               you               in               an               interracial               marriage               and               wonder               if               the               problems               you're               having               is               because               of               race?

Regardless               of               relationship               status               many               who               are               in               an               interracial               relationship               can't               help               but               wonder               if               interracial               marriages               will               work.

The               answer               to               that               is               a               big               "YES"!

To               help               understand               common               challenges               that               interracial               marriages               may               face               and               how               they               can               make               interracial               marriages               work,               I               have               interviewed               psychologist               Jennifer               Chandler,               PsyD.

Tell               me               a               little               bit               about               yourself.


               "My               name               is               Jennifer               Chandler,               "Jen"               to               my               friends.

I               obtained               my               BA               in               Psychology               at               Texas               Southern               University               in               Houston,               Texas               in               2003.

I               went               on               to               gain               my               PsyD               in               Clinical               Psychology               with               an               emphasis               in               Multicultural               Studies               in               2007               at               California               School               of               Professional               Psychology               in               Los               Angeles.

I               wrote               and               presented               my               dissertation               project               on               "Counseling               Lesbian,               Gay,               Bisexual               and               Transgender               (LGBT)               Clients               within               a               Multicultural               Framework."               Since               then,               I               have               adapted               this               framework               many               times               to               include               working               with               couples,               families               and               inmate-patients.

I               have               worked               with               many               different               agencies               including               the               Gay               and               Lesbian               Center,               elementary               schools,               private               practice,               and               Outpatient               Parole               services.

I               am               one               of               the               founding               members               of               the               nation's               first               "Masters               of               Arts               in               Psychology               with               an               emphasis               in               LGBT               Studies"               at               Antioch               University               and               taught               "Multicultural               Studies"               as               an               adjunct               professor               for               the               program.

Currently,               I               am               working               as               a               Forensic               Psychologist               at               the               California               Institution               for               Men               and               have               taken               an               adjunct               professor               position               at               Argosy               University               teaching               "Criminal               Psychology"               and               I               have               hopes               of               expanding               their               Multicultural               program."
               What               are               common               challenges               that               often               come               with               interracial               marriages?


               "First,               let               me               say,               there               are               many               challenges               within               EVERY               couple.

While               race/ethnicity               may               be               the               most               obvious               (visual)               difference,               other               more               subtle               differences,               may               be               the               result               of               issues               that               arise               within               a               couple.

Therefore,               when               working               with               a               multicultural               couple,               one               must               consider               each               level               of               difference.

One               way               to               outline               each               partner's               differences               is               with               a               system               I               adapted               called               the               "A.D.D.R.E.S.S.I.N.G.

Model."               "A"               stands               for               Age               &               generational               influences,               the               "D"s               stand               for               Dependencies/Disorders               and               Developmental               &               acquired               Disabilities,               "R"               stands               for               Religion               &               spiritual               orientation,               "E"               for               Ethnicity/Race,               "S"               is               for               Success,               Socioeconomic               Status               and               Schooling,               the               next               "S"               is               for               Sexual               Identity,               "I"               represents               a               person's               Ideology               (beliefs/values               about               the               world,               self,               others,               etc.),               "N"               is               for               Nationality/Indigenous               Heritage               and               "G"               represents               Gender               Identity.

Each               individual               in               the               couple               must               examine               and               understand               oneself               on               each               level.

If               there               is               an               imbalance               on               any               one               of               these               levels               within               the               self,               or               the               couple,               problems               may               arise."
               "For               example,               Joe               is               an               Indian-American               biological               male               who               is               a               non-practitioner               of               Buddhism               and               works               for               equal               civil               rights               and               his               partner               Bryan               is               a               Mexican-American               biological               male               who               is               an               accountant               and               a               devout               Catholic               since               childhood.

As               you               can               see,               this               couples'               differences               are               multifaceted               and               cannot               be               solely               explained               in               terms               of               racial               differences.

This               couple               will               most               likely               encounter               issues               related               to               religion,               work               ethic,               culture               and/or               racial               differences."
               What               type               of               impact               can               those               challenges               have               on               an               interracial               marriage?


               "People,               in               general,               tend               to               seek               the               comfort               of               others               who               are               similar               to               them               in               race,               culture,               socioeconomic               status,               etc.

This               is               even               more               evident               with               an               oppressed               people.

Therefore,               an               interracial               couple               may               experience               just               as               many               problems               outside               the               couple               as               within.

In               other               words,               family               of               origin               and               friends               may               ostracize,               or               criticize               the               individual,               or               couple               for               entering               into               such               a               relationship               in               the               first               place.

Particularly               when               it               comes               to               procreating,               older               generations               tend               to               frown               upon               multicultural               children               believing               it               dilutes               each               culture.

This               can               cause               anxiety,               depression,               isolation,               loss               of               friends               and               family,               and               in               some               cases,               "cut               off"               financially               from               one's               family."
               What               can               interracial               couples               do               to               make               their               marriage               work?


               "Multinational,               multicultural,               multiracial               and               all               couples               must               work               equally               hard               towards               compromising.

Issues               of               difference               on               any               level               must               be               discussed               before               any               serious               commitments               are               made.

This               includes               discussion               of               each               one               of               one's               differences               and               how               they               may               play               out               in               the               relationship.

The               couple               should               be               proactive               and               present               a               united               front               in               dealing               with               "naysayers."               Communication               is               key               in               any               relationship               and               will               be               crucial               in               coming               to               an               ideal               agreement.
               What               last               advice               would               you               like               to               give               you               to               interracial               couple               that               is               having               difficulties               in               their               marriage               because               of               race?


               If               issues               cannot               be               resolved               within               the               couple,               seek               professional               help               from               a               licensed               psychologist               who               specializes               in               multicultural               couples.
               Thank               you               Jennifer               for               doing               the               interview               with               me.

If               you               would               like               more               information               about               Jennifer               Chandler               you               can               check               out               her               website               on               www.drjchandler.com.
               Recommended               Readings:               
               How               to               Build               a               Successful               Marriage               
               How               to               Stay               Happily               Married               with               Children               
               Rekindling               Romance               in               Marriage






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